I can text with my tongue
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
