u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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