I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
