help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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