i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
