It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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