party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
