I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
