end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
