Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
