My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
