OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This is the high leading the old right now
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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