His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
