Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
