i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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