im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
