yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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