...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
