Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
