id be glad to
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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