how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
