he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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