The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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