i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
