i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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