We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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