State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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