I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
