She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize