I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
