I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
