I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize