Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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