Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
