And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize