so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
