Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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