But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
