After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
even my farts smell like vagina
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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