Who wears a wallet chain?!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
