Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
