i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
