he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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