sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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