i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
