I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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