i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize