He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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