did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
