Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize