THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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