btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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