Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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