Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
