Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize