Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize