just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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