eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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