I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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