only if we run a train.
done.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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