all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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