She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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