Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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