yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
