Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
