Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
