dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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